Mornings can be rough in our house. I don’t know what it is. Somewhere between waking up and getting out the door for school, things seem to fall apart. Whining, complaining, fussing, meltdowns, tantrums… it is exhausting! Can you relate?
Behavior Chart Failure
At one point I decided to make a behavior chart for the kids. If we could get out the door in the morning without any issues, they would get a sticker for the day. If they had four stickers in a week, there would be a prize! I can’t remember what I tried bribing them with at the time. It doesn’t matter, because it didn’t work!
The behavior chart seemed like such a good idea at the time. I gave myself a really big pat on the back for that one. It was going to change our days! After a few weeks had gone by and there were only a few stickers on the chart, it was more depressing than inspiring. And the more I thought about it, the more I decided that it might not be such a great idea after all.
The last thing I want to do is teach my kids to suppress their emotions. If they are having a rough morning (even if every morning is rough), I would rather know so that I can be understanding and supportive and try to help them navigate through it.
That’s when I remembered a phrase I had heard before, “catch them being good”. So, I decided to give it a try. The behavior chart went in the trash and I hung this up on the fridge.
The Kindness Counts Chart
Instead of giving out stickers when the kids didn’t fuss, I decided to give out stickers when I saw them being kind. Helping to pick up toys without being asked… sticker. Reading a book to your brother… sticker. Holding open the door… sticker. Both boys caught on pretty fast. Another thing I changed is that instead of getting a prize after a certain number of stickers, the kids get to DO something special. I kept it simple:
Rewards
- 10 Stickers = Staying up late
- 20 Stickers = Staying up late + game night
- 30 Stickers = Staying up late + movie night
- 40 Stickers = Staying up late
- 50 Stickers = Staying up late + game night
- 60 Stickers = Staying up late + movie night
- 70 Stickers = Staying up late
- 80 Stickers = Staying up late + game night
- 90 Stickers = Staying up late + movie night
- 100 Stickers = Special Surprise!
As you can see, staying up late is a big deal in our house! To be honest, I haven’t decided what the “special surprise” will be when they get to 100 stickers. I decided that I don’t want it to be a toy or game or anything material. I’ll update this post if I think of something good. 😉
Bonus Points
You can see that I have a section at the bottom for Bonus Points (and a column on the right side of the chart). In general, I don’t give a kindness sticker to the kids when they do something that I have asked them to do. That is obedience, which is expected in our home. Kindness, in my opinion, should be a choice they make on their own. The bonus points are where I stray from that a bit.
The kids will get a bonus point if they complete one of the things in the bonus list, which I created. These, for the most part, are acts of kindness toward people outside of our home. Friends, relatives, neighbors, classmates. I created the bonus list as a way to encourage my kids to think of ways to spread kindness in our community.
If they get 10 stickers in a row plus a bonus sticker, they get to have a special treat on the night that they stay up late. Ice cream, donuts, cookies, etc.
Kindness List
The last part of the Kindness chart is a space to write down each act of kindness. This is a great way for all of us to remember and focus on the good things!
Did it Work?
Did the Kindness Counts Chart change our mornings? Honestly, I think it was a combination of things. Part of it was me deciding that it’s okay to have rough mornings (even if it’s every morning). Just meeting the kids where they are and trying to help them figure things out instead of trying to control their moods. However, I do feel like when I change my focus from “ugh.. another rough morning” to “let me find something that is going right this morning” it makes a BIG difference for all of us. The trick is remembering to look for the good! I’m still working on that!
Thank you for reading about my Kindness Counts Chart for Kids! I hope that this post has been helpful or inspiring to you. If you would like to download a blank copy of the updated Kindness Counts Chart, click here!
“Thus has the Lord of Hosts said, ‘Dispense true justice
Zechariah 7:9
and practice kindness and compassion each to his brother.’ “
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So did the kids each have their own chart? Or did you have a combined chart?
Each of the kids had their own chart!